Here is a piece of my heart I want to share with all of you. I wrote this litany, ‘Take this Heart’, a year ago when I was battling deep depression. I wrote this through tears in adoration... Mary’s heart was the first painting I was drawn to after writing this prayer for hope. The sword marks resemble my own heart: ‘And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart’ (Lk 2:19); ‘You yourself a sword will pierce, so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed’ (Lk 2:35).

 

I had a pretty scary doctor appointment last year... It was the emotions I was feeling after the appointment that led me down a spiral staircase of despair. The emotions of fear, sorrow, and hopelessness came over me. The reality of my brokenness became real again. The feeling of being done. The tears came from a heart that was tired and could do no more. These appointments are reminders of what I cannot do.

 

I visualized a glass wall in front of me, and Jesus on the crucifix above the altar...on the other side of the glass. I could see and know the love of Jesus but my heart could not feel the love because of that ‘stupid’ wall there. If I opened the door, the glass would shatter. I visualized the same crucifix but this time the wall of glass [was] all shattered on the floor. I’m now seeing that I can’t fix all the broken pieces of glass. I have to give this brokenness to Jesus on the cross. Only Jesus can restore what is broken.

 

[I wrote in] my prayer journal: ...Take this heart, Father. And transform my heart to beat with Yours, Lord — to beat with Your Spirit of merciful love. To love everyone I meet through Your heart, Your most Sacred Heart." After I wrote this, I opened my Holy Hour book and read the following quote from Pope John Paul II: ‘The presence of Jesus in the tabernacle must be a kind of magnetic pole attracting an even greater number of souls enamored of Him, ready to wait patiently to hear His voice and, as it were, to sense the beating of His heart.’

 

I was stunned! I used those very words, ‘heartbeat’, in my journal. Jesus was responding to me through His beating heart. I continued to read, ‘In the Mass and in Eucharistic Adoration we meet the merciful love of God that passes through the Heart of Jesus Christ’ (Pope John Paul II).  ‘Hope in him, hold firm and take heart. Hope in the Lord!’ (Ps 27:14).

 

The words ‘take heart’ have encouraged me every single day since heart failure. ‘Take heart’ has helped me cling to Jesus and to trust. In this lifetime, we need encouragement to become courageous. I want to be a voice of encouragement! The words ‘take heart’ have given me hope and courage. I want to be brave and bold. Trusting and filled with hope, I want to give my best and encourage others to do the same.

 

I am sharing this...with love and peace in my heart. Remove the glass wall. Give Jesus your heart. Take heart. His heart beats for you, too.